A recurring theme in my life over the last month or so has been something I touched upon in my last blog of 2016, All about the Journey, and that’s the coming and going of people in our lives. No matter how long or short their stay, their presence is purposeful and enduring.
I’ve only been back from my weeklong birthday vacation to Peru for a little over a week and a handful of people have come and gone or stayed in such a short time, I have no choice but to examine the purpose. One of the lovely things I’ve discovered in considering these events is that I’ve let go of the damaging “what’s wrong with me” anxiety that sometimes accompanies others’ exit or their less than favorable role. Simply acknowledging there is a purpose, even if I have no idea what that purpose is yet, is enough. It also allows me to view that seemingly subpar character as beautiful, rather than with disgust, anger, and rejection.
I’ve learned that even in the deepest, muddiest waters, I won’t drown. I’ll learn how to swim to the other side. And if I’m paying attention, if my heart and mind are open, I might even see the beauty in how filthy I am by the time I get there. Sure, I might whine or flail my arms in blinding fits of rage on my way there, but with every lap, my gratitude will become stronger because even in our reactions, there is much to be learned.
One of the most important things I’ve learned as of late is to be gentler with myself. That means if I react in a perceivably negative manner, if I’m flailing my arms in blinding fits of rage, I will allow myself this temporary relief. I will acknowledge my heart’s need to bleed. But I’ll always keep swimming.
I listened to this song on repeat the entire time I was writing this.