“What’s the point of this? This doesn’t even matter,” I found myself sitting, staring up at the quickly moving cumulus clouds one late afternoon pondering the significance or insignificance, rather, of certain activities that I partake in on almost a daily basis. I began to feel the need for change stronger than ever before, the need for something that serves my soul in a more meaningful manner. I know I’m not alive to make wealthy people wealthier for the rest of my working days. I know my existence carries more purpose and I intend on figuring out exactly what that is.
These past couple of weeks have been significantly trying – emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually – trying in every aspect of the human psyche. While difficult, they have seen some considerable achievements on my part and for that, I am proud. It leaves me to wonder if this isn’t the so-called balance. I can’t have an achievement without a disappointment or perhaps it’s a test of my reaction. What’s that saying about it not being the adversity but our reaction to the adversity? While this may make sense, I must call bullshit at some point.
Injustice is so rampant, I’m not sure I believe in justice any longer. Is it enough to believe in the hope of justice? Humans are treated like machines. That is, until we’re replaced by actual machines, i.e. robots, and in that case, what will become of us? I like to imagine a world where every being is doing something significant, something that while serving is also self-fulfilling. It’s the idealist in me but I believe that world would be a much better place to coexist in.
Is it enough to believe in something that is not – will the belief in something aid in its manifestation? The initial clouds dispersed, giving way to a clear, blue sky and I stood back up because it’s what I do every time.