The Price We Pay for Love

My world seems to be on one of those dimmer switches. Every time I lose someone I love, my surroundings appear a little darker, my thoughts a little more sinister and my reality a little more, well, real. This isn’t me being negative or glass half empty though I can understand where one may come to that conclusion. I’m simply just trying to explain via analogy what so many of us have experienced – the pain and price of loving someone.

Through years of weekly therapy sessions and constant self-analysis, it finally registered: Grieving is not easy and we don’t just do it like Nike. In fact, many of us, including myself, find ways to avoid doing it whether we’re conscious of our evasion or not. I think I must have had this idealization that grieving was like sitting down at our dining table with a cup of coffee at a scheduled time and saying, “On your mark, get set, go! Grieve away. Cry. Let it out.” And then it’s over. Instead of a dimmer, I’m talking about a light switch now. Grief on. Grief off. This is the self-control freak in me speaking.

If only it were that easy, which leads me to my next recognition and that is that grief doesn’t really end. The anguish that correlates with the process may lessen and become more bearable but grief doesn’t actually have an ending point. We don’t wake up one day and suddenly never ever feel the grief again. We may not feel it as often but with the loss of deep and meaningful relationships based in love comes deep, meaningful and lifelong grief. It is, after all, the price we pay for love.

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6 thoughts on “The Price We Pay for Love

  1. thank you for this..i lost someone today, one that shouldnt have hit me as hard as it did, but one loss brings on the grief of all previous losses, and that can be unbareable… i needed this confirmation thats its ok to still cry for the past.

    1. It is readers like yourself that remind me why I need to keep writing – I don’t believe in happenstance. Often, I post something and almost regret doing so yet somehow, always leave it be and just walk away from technology for a bit so that I can’t keep track of any positive or negative response or lack thereof. I am very sorry for your loss, masochancer, though glad that I was able to provide that confirmation for you. I wish you peace in your heart and in your present.

      1. Lindsay, We have never seen each other face to face but I feel so connected to you in so many ways. Someday when you become a famous author (which I see soon) I will be in line for your book signing. Much love and lots and lots of hugs for your day. Joan

  2. I have missed seeing your post. This was one that I can relate to on so many levels.
    Thanks for putting your heart into words when others can’t.

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