It’s been quite some time since I’ve written a blog and for this, I do apologize. It is certainly something I desire to make more of a habit though I must admit I have been quite caught up in the lovely and unexpected direction my life has taken since beginning the 100 Happy Days Challenge. That’s not to say that the sole reason my life has taken said direction is due in whole to partaking in this challenge though I can confidently state that it has had influenced it.
My full presence has taken priority over worrying about the future and mulling over an unchangeable past. And that’s not to say that I don’t have my “moments.” In all honesty, I had one this past Monday night, Memorial Day that infiltrated its way into the better part of Tuesday. As singer, Monica, once said, “It’s just one of them days that a girl goes through…” I am focused on living each moment and experiencing each given feeling at its fullest with no conscious intent of tainting it with my active fears.
A couple of weeks ago, David decided to berate me through text message with his power trip demands and control freak exclamations. The conversation ceased to exist after he stated, “…I very obviously didn’t come out on top financially from this divorce.” I am not certain how he justifies it in his fucked up mind that I somehow came out “winning” like Charlie Sheen through this disgrace of a marriage but it’s probably filed alongside the same folder that contains his delusions of why he relentlessly asked me to marry him in the first place. His complete and utter lack of learning anything in the past ten months initially outraged me but I have to let go of any hope or expectations in that area of my past.
Someone I consider close to me stated, “Do not let whatever it is ruin your weekend ready steez” to which I confidently replied, “I do not intend to allow a miserable human being rob me of any further energy.” And I stuck to my word, enjoying a long, lovely weekend with said individual.
I have since and finally found myself back on top of my finances since David and mine’s separation and while money cannot buy happiness, it can sure relieve some of life’s added stresses. With that being said and yes, I know I am all over the place this evening, so again, please forgive my squirrel syndrome, but Maya Angelou passed away today. She has always been one of my inspirations, the very definition of strength and endurance, touching and motivating so many lives with her wisdom, her words and the unimaginable struggles that she ultimately overcame with such unequivocal grace.
The first article I encountered this morning about Angelou’s passing was on CNN.com. The authors of this article wrote, “A literary voice revered globally for her poetic command and her commitment to civil rights has fallen silent.” I couldn’t disagree more with this statement. An individual of her artistic brilliance, with numerous popular and published works, could never possibly fall silent. It’s fitting of which I’ve written adamantly and passionately about, “Create or Die in Silence.” Because of phenomenal women like my mama and Maya Angelou, I’ll continue to tell my story, to create, never bearing the agony of bottling it up inside ’cause I do not wish to pass in silence and ’cause I’m a woman, too, phenomenally. Maya Angelou created an endless pathway of inspiring, encouraging and uplifting material that will remain an undying legacy for generations to come. May her creations continue to instill strength and understanding upon humankind and may she rest in peace.