In My Life, I Love You More

2/15/2012

Dear mama,

You were in my dream Sunday night.  Was it real?  God – I hope so.  And if it was, well you know what I’m on my way to do right now.  I hate that I’m flying to Kansas City and the one person that I would always be most excited to see and spend time with is no longer there.  What an awful feeling!  My heart still aches in the thought of your absence.  I think there’s a large part of me that still has not accepted it.  I want more than anything to come “home” and do all the things we loved to do together – Shopping, Red Lobster, watch Wheel of Fortune and Everybody Loves Raymond.  I would give you nightly hand massages.  I don’t understand why I had to lose you so soon – too soon?!  I’m so angry sometimes still and still feel the guilt at times, as well.  But I’m also very happy with the life that David and I are building.  Are you happy for us?  Did you hear what David suggested we do on your birthday?  You’re invited to dinner.  Mama – I don’t know if you are able to do these things but as my angel, can you watch over David and I’s relationship and protect it the way you used to protect me all those years?  I hope that’s not too much to ask for.  I just don’t trust anyone else like I trust you.  It’s not fair.  I miss you so much.  What if I lose David?  God – I don’t think I could bare it, mama.  You were right – David came into my life for many reasons but one of the main reasons was that I was gonna need someone once you were gone.  I hope you and dad keep each other company.  Please tell him I love him and miss him very much.  Can you believe I’m going to be a married woman?  That I’m going to be a wife?  I think you can :) I really wish you were going to be there physically.  Ok – I’m signing off now.  I love you, mama.

Love, Linds

This song was dedicated and played at my wedding in memory of my parents

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