My Mama, My Soldier

While this entire blog was begun in the beautiful spirit of my dear mother, I’d like to especially dedicate this next post to her.  Because of her, I am able to give and to receive the most beautiful kind of love there is – unconditional love.  There is absolutely nothing better in the entire world.  The knowledge that no matter what mistakes you might make, crimes you might commit or hurtful words that carelessly escape your mouth, that person will forever love you with the same intensity he/she loves you when you’re doing all of the right things, obeying the law and uttering nothing but kindness, is the most fearless, flawless and beautiful kind of love.

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My mama showed me this kind of love from the moment that I was no longer a figment of her fantastic imagination.  Even through times of selfishly taking her immense love for granted, she gave that love without hesitation.  This, in turn, taught me the divine virtue of gratitude.  It instilled within me a strength that makes it possible to overcome the fear of pain and heartache that may or may not infiltrate my world.  I understand that some people, unfortunately, were not shown this kind of love from a parent, caregiver or guardian, therefore instilling him/her with a magnitude of terror that relentlessly and sadly overcomes unconditional love with a blinding darkness.

The ruthless idealist in me finds herself praying that every single human being could experience the life changing beauty of unconditional love.  It’s my sincere belief that this is where true peace comes from or at least a great aspect of it.  I could easily feel sorry for myself that my parents have passed away or that I’m going through a divorce but the truth is, because of the kind of love my mother showed me, I am able to simply say thank you for the moments I did have, the moments in my memory that enrich my life with hard learned lessons and the priceless ability to love unconditionally.  I know with certainty that even a single day, twenty-four hours, is greater than never experiencing it at all.

The first time I ever heard this song, by Gavin DeGraw, I was getting myself ready for the long day ahead.  I was having a particularly rough morning – David on my mind, financial worries, loneliness as well as a multitude of other things that my mother’s ear would only suffice.  As soon as the lyrics began, so ensued the tears.  I felt like my mother was speaking directly to me, reminding me that even in her death, her unconditional love is always present.  As I’ve stated before, I don’t believe in happenstance – I know this song was her way of letting me know, in the midst of one of my weaker moments, that she’ll always be the soldier in my heart, unconditionally.

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3 thoughts on “My Mama, My Soldier

  1. She is the angel watching over her baby whatever and wherever you are. Her loves lives on in you and in your writings.

    1. I read something the other day and it made me think of you. It said
      God doesn’t give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you the person you were meant to be.

      Happy writing. Joan

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