I’ve been searching for the inspiration and the subject of what exactly to post about as this last week and a half have been quite eventful. To be truthful, it is difficult to type as my left hand and arm are pretty useless due to a recent freak accident about forty-eight hours ago. I must make this short and sweet, as the doctor has ordered me to keep my arm elevated, hand toward the sky.
I am currently witnessing the gorgeous, orange sunset amidst dark blue clouds from my bedroom window of my new apartment. I officially moved in two days ago and despite all of the anxiety inducing issues that have been erupting – you know the saying when it rains, it pours – I am staying positive and trying to focus on the beauty around me. I think that all the seemingly stressful things that have been happening these past few days are all part of the lesson in continually shaping me into the positive being I already am, enabling me to see the splendor even in the darkness.
Last week, after receiving a bit of bad news at my new job, I came home to an apartment that had been cleared of David’s belongings. I stepped into the living room that once was our home together, where we would cuddle on the couch, my head in his lap, him playing with my hair and us both laughing our asses off at South Park reruns. The heel of my boot echoed in the emptiness of the now couch-less living room, the tears instantly began to well and my heart pound. The sound of my cries resonated off the naked walls of the dining room that was now void of the table where David and I shared many homemade meals together. I reached for my cellphone, as I immediately knew that I did not want to be alone.
Good company goes a long way. It was a late night, however, one filled with heart to heart conversation, lots of red wine, delicious ice cream and pink plaster of Paris instead of heartache, tears, loneliness and restlessness. It’s these special hours in life that allow me to laugh when I want to scream, that empower me to smile through the tears and that make it possible to practice gratitude for all that comes my way even if it is seemingly an obstacle, for it is these obstacles that demand the kind of strength necessary to march forward.