I have moved every single year since the end of 2010 and two of those moves were cross-country. I could probably change my address with the United States Post Office in my sleep. I’m moving Saturday, the 26th of October, and I’d like to keep it real right now and tell you about my present state of mind. This shit is fucking bittersweet. The last time I logged on to usps.com was in elated anticipation of moving to Los Angeles with my husband. We would be leaving our kick ass Brooklyn apartment that overlooked Prospect Park, where we held our beautiful wedding reception six months prior. But, it was okay, because life was exciting – and we were planning on making a better one for ourselves on the west coast. The goals were very clear – apartment, jobs with similar schedules, traveling, finally settling into a place to call home for longer than a year and saving up for a condo or a house in the next four years…then comes the baby in the baby carriage.
Funny, aint it? How they say if you want to make God, or the Universe, or what have you laugh, tell him or it your plans? Well, I presume God’s ribs must be aching from all the fits of laughter right about now. Not more than nine months later after returning to the city I call home, I’m changing addresses again – only, this time, I’m changing only mine. Singular – not we, not us. Only I. It’s true when one door closes, another opens and I’ve been blessed with many doors opening for me since the end of my relationship with David, including the one that’s literally opening for me next Saturday no more than a mile and a half down the road. This, unfortunately, doesn’t take away from the fact that this fucking hurts. I was speaking to a friend on the phone this morning and she said to me what I already know. She said, “You know you’re probably gonna have a meltdown.” Oh, how she knows me so well!
Alas, this is one of those moments I got to get through to keep holding my head high, to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I will have my sob fest, probably eat lots of chocolate and then I will exercise profusely, smile brightly, tilt my head back and laugh at the sky.