What’s For You Will Not Pass You

The nearly two years I spent in New York City were rough, to say the least.  I wasn’t able to enjoy the east coast for all that it had to offer – at least not the way I could on my annual two-week visits prior to my cross-country move.  I often blamed this on the loss of my parents, though I now know that the day I decided to uproot my life for another person was the day I began to lose myself, thus lost the majority of my sense of wonderment and wanderlust.

Don’t get me wrong – it definitely came with some enjoyable moments, some note-worthy experiences.  My love for New York City still exists and I’m happy to say that I lived there, as it had been a dream of mine since the age of four.  My mama would always say how proud she was of me for always doing what I say I’m going to do, for always following through on my dreams, so there’s no way I could ever regret the two years I spent living a Brooklyn state of mind.

The most important thing I left the Big Apple behind with, however, was the incredible friendships I developed.  For example, after my parents passed away, I anxiously Googled a support group within the Manhattan area and attended the first one I found.  What manifested after the twelve or so weeks of emotionally draining meetings was an undesirable common bond that held a beautiful, sympathetic group of women together.  I am grateful to say we continued our group meetings, post the organized ones, in much happier places and while a couple of us have since moved from the east coast, I am happy to report that we still manage to keep in touch.  I value these women more than they are probably aware of.

Another amazing New York friendship I’d like to speak on is that of a former coworker of mine, Amanda.  With a heart of gold, a mouth like a sailor and a sense of humor that rivaled my own, this girl is one of those friends you have for life.  She’s one of those friends that you don’t have to speak to every single day to know you can begin right where you left off.

After I informed Amanda, via text message, that I was getting a divorce, she replied with the grim, but sincerely uplifting words one needs to hear during a time like that.  However, it wasn’t the encouraging messages that she offered or the dozens of hilariously popular e-cards, surfing the internet, she would send me, one of my favorites being, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life,” (insert awesome sense of humor here) but it was what followed about a week later – via parcel post.


I was on my way out the door, in a rush, and quickly grabbed the contents of the mailbox as I saw the brown bubble envelope, addressed to me, sticking out like a sore thumb.  I got into my car and being the curious homo sapien that I am, instantly opened the package as eagerly as a five-year-old on Christmas Day.  To my surprise, Amanda had thoughtfully sent me a bracelet and how fitting being that we worked as graphic designers at a jewelry company together.  The fashionable bracelet had a charm attached to it and on that charm, it poignantly read: “What’s for you will not pass you.”  Well, I certainly couldn’t have said it better and I wear it every single day, as a blessed reminder.



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